I don't intend to kick off another Billie Jean King vs. what's-his-name (I think it was Ima Tool) style debate, but I find this communication dynamic kinda interesting. Not news, by any standard, as it's been going on since there were men and women, I'm sure. When cave women grunted about the children needing shoes, did their significant others roll their eyes and go into a trance as they recalled a spectacular mammoth hunt with Og?
So, let me spend a moment on “chick-speak”. I’m trying to remember exactly when he (he being Highlander) first sprung that particular term on me. And, for the record, he was the first to share it with me…but I get the feeling it’s something guys speak to each other about with some regularity. Anyway, it’s been fairly recently, but I can’t recall exactly. I DO know that when we were picking out drapes for our bedroom a couple months ago, I was trying to explain to him that we needed to select something that would compliment the paint color in the room (a kind of spring green) and the comforter we already had (a navy blue), or we’d have to buy new bed linens to match the drapes and it was an expense we could avoid, if we picked something that would work with what we already had.
He gave me that far-away look that said “Yup. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is French horns.” Reminiscent of the old Charlie Brown cartoons…where the adults all speak in...well…French horns… (And, by the way, while it is completely irrelevant to the discussion, I can totally NAIL that impersonation.) Anyway, I looked at him and said something like “Don’t you agree?”. To which he replied, “Babe, you’re speaking in chick. All I want is something dark to keep the light out when I’m sleeping.” He couldn’t have cared less if we got red velvet drapes with black polka-dots. ::sigh:: Guys…..
I can’t really speak for other chicks out there(unless they do the French horn thing…in which case I can TOTALLY speak for other chicks), but I suppose there are some guys who just don’t give a damn about aesthetics at all. But, I mean, if you’re at the store and they have four colors of drapes and one of them actually MATCHES, doesn’t it occur to guys that THAT one is the one to purchase? I mean, you know, as opposed to the one closest to your hand.
Now, even beyond matters of color selection, this trend branches out to entertaining (YES, you do have to buy food and beverages when you invite people over for dinner…opening up the pantry and announcing ‘HEY, we’ve got peanut butter!’ is not gonna get it.), fashion (no, you cannot wear a Captain America shirt with green sweatpants to work...even on casual Friday), and…come to find out…even decorating for Halloween. As it was PLAINLY obvious to me, this past October, that we needed to hang the two scary rubber bats in front of the porch with the lit windows of our living room behind them for maximum effect. Alas, that was not the case for...er...everyone in the decorating party.
Sure, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has turned some of them around, but what’s up with the rest of them? Do they really not understand us?
Granted, when guys are doing this in their 20’s, it’s just a matter of them being too young to know better…hell, a lot of chicks have the same issue at that age. But in their 40’s?!?!? Uh uh. They're just not trying.
How can guys go on and on all day about military fighter planes, citing manufacturers, designers (I swear if I hear the name Kelly Johnson ever again, I will scream!), contributions to war efforts, etc., and not know that red wine goes with pasta? They can recite, often line for line, entire comic books from 20+ years ago, lines of dialogue from books they read as children, lyrics of one-hit wonders from the 60's. But they don't know that you aren't supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day?
My ex once told me that he "refused to learn what clothes matched", because he didn't want to dress his daughters. 'Refused to learn'. Watson, we may be on to something here...